Memo to ABC-TV

TO: ABC Television
FM: Terry Heaton
CC: NFL Football
SUBJ: Nicolette Sheridan and Terrell Owens

I know you’re suffering from a lot of good press about the Monday Night Football thing, and I think you have a great opportunity to continue the buzz and make a point at the same time.

Bring back Nicolette and T.O. this Monday night! They’re both nicely-dressed. The mood is somber. They’re on a couch facing us. Both address us with an apology scripted by John Cleese. End on a 2‑shot. Camera pulls out as Hank Jr. rushes in with two buxom babes — lights flashing — glitter — music — “Come on everybody. Let’s get it on!!”

Or not.

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