A tax day digression

A tax day digression.
Dear Mrs. Savimbi, Mrs. Kume, Mrs. Abacha, Princess Ifeoma, and all of the other wealthy widows of Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Ghana and South Africa. I bring you greetings in the name of all that is good and kind, and I trust that this most wonderful correspondence greets you with the same warmth and magnificence with which yours and those of your country men and women have greeted me. It is with the utmost distress and emotion that I find myself unable to assist you in your urgent and noble efforts to secure your deceased husbands’ fortunes through my humble bank account. My heart wishes with all sincerity that I could be the knight that you so desperately seek, but, alas, misfortune has overtaken me as a mist in the forest at twilight, for this day, my government — that bastion of goodness and mercy for which I would gladly sacrifice all — has instructed me to provide to them, by midnight, the sum of $675(USD) to satisfy my obligation and secure my future freedom. It is therefore necessary for me to close the bank account that could have, in all rightness and willingness, assisted you in your most holy plight. May my spirit rest in the dry places for this loathsome deed, to rise only through the waters of your forgiveness.

Comments

  1. VERY accurate parody. Nice laugh on a frustrating subject!

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